285.1

The scale at the weight loss specialist’s office said 285.1, and to add insult to injury, 154 lbs of that number was fat. It didn’t matter how I’d gotten here, but the fact that I was here, in this office, waiting to be seen by a weight loss specialist was what was important.

The doctor walked in, and he is ridiculously good looking. Not going to lie, that didn’t hurt.

We talked numbers, my history, he took copious notes. It was the first time in a LONG time that I felt like someone actually heard what I was saying beyond the fact that I “have trouble losing weight”. For so many doctors, it’s as easy as saying “just eat less and move more.” Yeah, if it were that easy, wouldn’t we all be thin?

I’ve finally decided to do something drastic about my weight. No, not surgery, but the OptiFast system. It’s a full meal-replacement program in which, for anywhere from 10-20 weeks, I eat pre-packaged “meals” that consist of shakes, bars, soups, and lots of water. Drastic? Yes.

But here’s my theory: I’ve spent much of my last oh, 10 years, doing not much more than thinking about, planning for, preparing, cooking, talking about, and eating food. Seriously, it’s kind of out of control. I need a reset. Will I still love food? Sure. I doubt that will ever change. But I need something “mindless” so that the journey (as much as I effing hate that term) becomes more about dealing with, as my late dad would say, “what’s between my own ears” rather than what I put in my mouth.

I’m calling this my “control-alt-delete” (especially since “open-apple-reset” is totally dated). I’m turning off the foodie brain and allowing myself to be a novice, a learner, and re-learn how to feed myself without overdoing it.

With a bag of OptiFast products and an informational binder in my hand, I set out for home, finally encouraged that THIS IS IT. One last cheeseburger, and then I’d start in the morning…

So day 1, I drank 3 shakes, ate a bar, and had a cup of soup. I’ve learned a couple things:

• Vanilla shakes are delicious
• Chocolate pre-packaged shakes < chocolate powdered shakes
• The tomato soup is pretty delicious
• Chocolate peanut butter bar is quite delicious.

100 oz. of water, and only one little bit of dizziness after sitting in traffic for longer than anticipated. My first class with the dietician is Thursday, and then I see the doctor again next week.