Week 1: Day 4

Today was absolutely, definitely easier. I don’t know if it’s that I mixed up the order in which I consumed my Optifast products (I hesitate to call it “eating) or if that it’s really getting easier. Let’s go with a good combo of both.

Today had me craving a massive helping of salmon sashimi. I don’t know why, but man, sashimi sounds good, with lots of wasabi. I guess there are worse things to crave?

It was interesting all the time we had this evening when we weren’t trying to figure out where to go for dinner, eating dinner, waiting at dinner…

I did my nails, started a crochet blanket, and we’re watching a movie in a bit. I’m still more tired than normal, but that’s to be expected. Is it possible my rings are looser?

I’ve decided on a couple of weight loss “rewards” that I’m going to indulge in:

  • an “anchor” to wear every day, to remind me to stick with it. Probably a ring for my right hand.
  • at 25 lbs gone: a haircut/style
  • at 50 lbs gone: the new tattoo I want

I’ll decide more later… for now, baby steps.


Week 1: Day 3


I went into my first class at the Weight Management center today. I was excited to talk to the dietician, and the nurse and doctor about how I’ve been feeling.

I’m still a bit dizzy, but less so than yesterday. I guess cutting 2200 calories from my diet in one fell swoop will do that to a girl.

So I walked in to the center and the receptionist remembered me from Monday and asked how my first days were going. She said she liked my enthusiasm! The nurse called me right back into the exam room and I got on the scale, not expecting much.

I’ve lost 3.1 pounds in 3 days.

Wait, what? That’s more than I lost the whole time I was on Weight Watchers last time. Maybe I really can do this…

The class was interesting, and something I’ll file away for when I prepare my own food again. The dietician was fantastic, nice, and supportive, just what I needed.

One day at a time…


Week 1: Day 2

So this is what it really feels like to be hungry.

I feel ok, I actually have a decent amount of energy, I’m a wee bit dizzy, but in all honesty I feel ok.

Except for this insane gnawing hunger. I’m told it’ll get better and I won’t feel that way anymore after a while. I’m seeing where I’ve messed up on other food plans before. I’d get hungry and since “I could eat anything” as long as I “counted it”, that’s just what I would do.

On this? Notsomuch. Dammit, these things cost $3 a piece and I’m going to use them properly. I definitely had the thought of “ok, no snack and then I can have soup AND a bar for dinner.” Nope. That’s not “as directed.” I feel like food is everywhere though. On TV, billboards, at work, all over my pinterest feed, my entire blog reader… I may need to change some of my reading habits for a while.

My first class is tomorrow, where I will weigh in and meet with others in a similar situation. In the mean time, it’ll just be another Thursday at school.

I’m debating making a weight loss reward list for myself… more on that tomorrow.

Week 1: Day 1


The scale at the weight loss specialist’s office said 285.1, and to add insult to injury, 154 lbs of that number was fat. It didn’t matter how I’d gotten here, but the fact that I was here, in this office, waiting to be seen by a weight loss specialist was what was important.

The doctor walked in, and he is ridiculously good looking. Not going to lie, that didn’t hurt.

We talked numbers, my history, he took copious notes. It was the first time in a LONG time that I felt like someone actually heard what I was saying beyond the fact that I “have trouble losing weight”. For so many doctors, it’s as easy as saying “just eat less and move more.” Yeah, if it were that easy, wouldn’t we all be thin?

I’ve finally decided to do something drastic about my weight. No, not surgery, but the OptiFast system. It’s a full meal-replacement program in which, for anywhere from 10-20 weeks, I eat pre-packaged “meals” that consist of shakes, bars, soups, and lots of water. Drastic? Yes.

But here’s my theory: I’ve spent much of my last oh, 10 years, doing not much more than thinking about, planning for, preparing, cooking, talking about, and eating food. Seriously, it’s kind of out of control. I need a reset. Will I still love food? Sure. I doubt that will ever change. But I need something “mindless” so that the journey (as much as I effing hate that term) becomes more about dealing with, as my late dad would say, “what’s between my own ears” rather than what I put in my mouth.

I’m calling this my “control-alt-delete” (especially since “open-apple-reset” is totally dated). I’m turning off the foodie brain and allowing myself to be a novice, a learner, and re-learn how to feed myself without overdoing it.

With a bag of OptiFast products and an informational binder in my hand, I set out for home, finally encouraged that THIS IS IT. One last cheeseburger, and then I’d start in the morning…

So day 1, I drank 3 shakes, ate a bar, and had a cup of soup. I’ve learned a couple things:

  • Vanilla shakes are delicious
  • Chocolate pre-packaged shakes < chocolate powdered shakes
  • The tomato soup is pretty delicious
  • Chocolate peanut butter bar is quite delicious.

100 oz. of water, and only one little bit of dizziness after sitting in traffic for longer than anticipated. My first class with the dietician is Thursday, and then I see the doctor again next week.