ramblings

Week 11: The last few days

245.3

Yep. I had a gain.

A whole half pound.

Eight ounces.

There’s no way in you know where that I consumed THAT MANY extra calories to truly warrant a gain. I’m not thrilled about this though. It’s just not computing in my crazy brain that I eat no more than 820 calories a day and have GAINED weight.

Then my rational brain kicks in. I had an extremely long last few days. I didn’t leave school before 5:15 any day this week, and haven’t been home before 7. Yesterday, I picked up Chinese food for my husband, and got a container of chicken broth (really, wonton soup without the wonton) to eat instead of making my OptiFast soup. I felt like comfort food and I made the best choice I could. I mean, freaking chicken broth and a few (literally 5 or 6) tiny slivers of pork in there. Do you have any idea how much sodium is in chicken\wonton soup from a Chinese restaurant??

According to fatsecret.com, in ONE CUP of wonton soup broth, there are 769 grams of sodium. That’s 34% of the daily allowance. My OptiFast soup has 600. I’m extremely salt sensitive, AND I slacked off on water yesterday and today. So I’m bloated. It’ll be gone (and then some) next week.

In other news, some non-scale victories happened in the last few days:

  • I sat in a meeting with my legs crossed like a girl.
  • My leggings are too big. Like, so much too big that a student noticed.
  • I noticed I use less foundation to cover my face.
  • I ran up and down the flights of stairs at work today to get copies and wasn’t in the least bit winded or tired.

THOSE are the reasons that I’m doing this. The number is just that: a number.

Now, someone tell that crazy brain girl to lighten up.

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Week 10: Day 1

250.4

Another 3.4 pounds down this week for a grand total of 34.7 pounds GONE!

This weight is kind of nostalgic for me. 250.4 was exactly the weight I was the last time I joined Weight Watchers and proceeded to lose 50 pounds. I hit 199 before the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan and I maintained for a year before starting to gain about 15 pounds before our wedding. I was the weirdo who GAINED weight before getting married.

I remember getting on the scale for my first check up with my new doctor after our honeymoon to see 225 lbs. Then I remember seeing 265 last summer. That “I never want to see this number again” number was 250.4

So I’m seeing it again, but I’m on the way down! 35 pounds down is a reward number for me… so hopefully next weekend I’ll be able to go get a facial! My skin is kind of a mess and could really use it.

As for this week… I’m nervous about Thanksgiving. I have great control over what I eat when it’s a choice between something at home or my OptiFast products. My mom is amazingly supportive and is making whatever I need, so I talked to my doctor and am meeting with the dietician on Wednesday to plan out my meal. I’m eating some darn Thanksgiving food! That day, Thursday, is also the first day of Hanukkah and our 4th wedding anniversary. Thanksgivukkahversary as we’re calling it 🙂

I have to remember that it’s mostly about the family, the conversation, the being thankful…not all about the food!

But I’m not going to lie. I’m excited to have a bit of turkey and a few brussels sprouts and some turkey soup. I realized the other day: I haven’t used a fork in 10 weeks. Or a plate. Or chewed more than one snack a day.

(Holy crap I’m rambling today)

Some numbers, to keep me in perspective when I get tired of liquids:

34.7: pounds lost

2: pants sizes down (it’s probably more, but because I wasn’t wearing clothes that fit, I’ll never know)

1: band sizes down (44 to 42)

10 or more: Clothing items I couldn’t wear at the beginning of the school year that are now too big

2: Sweaters returned because I bought them too big

4: Inches away from the steering wheel in my car

0: Inches away from the steering wheel in my car when I started this

12: Crochet projects completed

Ok, I’ll stop rambling now.

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Week 9: all the days

How the heck did this week get away from me??

I feel like I just blinked and BAM tomorrows weigh in day again! Last week dragged on forever, and I think it had a lot to do with the whole running out of bars early thing.

I’ve noticed something recently: I’ve been spending a bit more effort on my appearance on a daily basis. I fell into this rut of really not doing much makeup and clothes wise because I figured that it would take too much effort to even make a dent.

I’ve done my hair almost every day since I got it done at 25 lbs, and I’ve worn makeup almost every day too! Even more important: I remember to take off said makeup with an appropriate product, and (gasp!) use facial moisturizers and eye cream.

Less fat = more wrinkles in this face 😦

I posted this photo last night, and just getting so many wonderfully positive comments from friends from all over the country has kept me motivated today.

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I think I may be hitting a bit of a wall…while I love the progress, I’m getting a little bored with the monotony of the shakes/bars/soups and would still love some sushi/a burger/steak/cheese but the progress is really worth it.

I’ve got this… I’ve got this… I’m the little Optifaster that could…

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Week 8: Days 6-7

Well, it’s no secret that I can’t count.

Yesterday’s post should’ve been days 1-5. Oh well. My students even mock me because I really can’t count. I mess up their paper passing out aaaallllll the time.

Anyway, speaking of numbers:

253.8

That makes a grand total of 31.3 pounds lost so far! WAHOO!

I’m not going to lie, it was a rough week. I ran out of bars fairly early on, and I didn’t realize how much I need the whole chewing thing until it wasn’t an option. It got to the point yesterday where I almost froze my shake to a solid so that I would have something to chew. But I ordered more bars, and I’ve already had one. So much better!

I meet with my doctor next week, and I’m curious to see my bloodwork numbers. Also, I’ve realized that, provided I stay on the products-only phase (save for some veggies and a bit of turkey on Thanksgiving) I will get to start eating one meal a day right at New Years.

That’s a heck of a start to a new year!

The other thing keeping me sane? That’s only 46 days from now. I’ve already been doing this for 56 days, so whats another 48? I got this.

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Week 7: Day 7

257.1

Down another pound and a half! TWENTY EIGHT POUNDS TOTAL!!!

I’m averaging 4 pounds a week, which is above average. I’ve never EVER been an above-average weight loser.

We had a really interesting class today about “stick with it-ness” and I shared with the class about how this all started out as a “have to” endeavor. I had to lose weight to be healthier, to get in a good place to start a family, get my cholesterol down, etc.

And then I was able to buy a pair of pants off the rack at Old Navy. And it’s turned into a “want to” thing. The health stuff is amazing, but honestly, the superficial stuff is great too, and really a phenomenal motivator.

A friend at work today gave me a huge hug and told me she’s proud of me. THAT meant a lot. And so did the number on the scale, but that’s just quantitative proof that what I’m doing is working. I prefer the qualitative proof…the comments, the smaller clothes, the feeling better.

And can you all tell I’m in a data-driven class for grad school? Qualitative and quantitative? Who am I?

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday…it’s been a LONG week!

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Week 7: Day 7

257.1

Down another pound and a half! TWENTY EIGHT POUNDS TOTAL!!!

I’m averaging 4 pounds a week, which is above average. I’ve never EVER been an above-average weight loser.

We had a really interesting class today about “stick with it-ness” and I shared with the class about how this all started out as a “have to” endeavor. I had to lose weight to be healthier, to get in a good place to start a family, get my cholesterol down, etc.

And then I was able to buy a pair of pants off the rack at Old Navy. And it’s turned into a “want to” thing. The health stuff is amazing, but honestly, the superficial stuff is great too, and really a phenomenal motivator.

A friend at work today gave me a huge hug and told me she’s proud of me. THAT meant a lot. And so did the number on the scale, but that’s just quantitative proof that what I’m doing is working. I prefer the qualitative proof…the comments, the smaller clothes, the feeling better.

And can you all tell I’m in a data-driven class for grad school? Qualitative and quantitative? Who am I?

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday…it’s been a LONG week!

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Week 7: Days 5-6 (The Truth)

I had a friend ask me yesterday if this whole OptiFast thing was as easy as I’ve made it seem here on my little blog.

The truth? NO WAY.

Absolutely, no freaking way is this easy. I mean, sure, I don’t have to plan a darn thing, everything is more or less done for me, I have a built in support system, great doctors and nurses at the weight loss clinic, and the biggest thing is that I have a MAJOR “wanna” to get this done. It’s like in “Stand and Deliver”… you have to have the GANAS. That I have.

But, seriously, I miss cooking. I miss the stress relief after a long day of chopping up vegetables and stabbing garlic cloves into a roast. I miss the smells in the house, i miss roasting vegetables, I miss grilling and even grocery shopping. I miss chewing. I get one bar (maybe two) a day, and chewing gum isn’t the same. I miss going out to eat (not the food so much, but the keeping each other company and talking thing). I miss eating things that aren’t sweet. Breakfast is sweet, lunch is sweet, my snacks are sweet… I have one bowl of soup a day that’s not sweet. I’d still hurt someone for some salmon sashimi, or hell, a glass of wine.

But here’s the thing: the fact that I feel so incredibly great, and for the first time in years I’m losing weight without it being a constant conversation in my head.

“What are we doing for lunch? I don’t know, what are we doing for lunch? I had oatmeal for breakfast which was this many points/calories/units/whatevers so for lunch it needs to be this many points/calories/units/whatevers, and I know that dinner is this many…”

HOLY CRAP it was exhausting. Everything was food. I suddenly have this extra time and energy that isn’t revolving around food. I have 10 minion hats to crochet, and i’m not even concerned about my grad school work.

So is this easy? No. But is it worth it? Absolutely. I figured out today that I can no longer “belly bump” the back gate open. THAT is worth it.

And now, your dose of Zooey Kitten:

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